My best 4 tips if you want an easy divorce and to truly shelter your children during separation & divorce:
1. Children don't know what we, as adults know- don't treat them like an adult! Let them keep their innocence.
2. Your children are not your business associates or your work colleagues.
3. What LEGACY do YOU want to leave behind?
4. Amplify the positivity & teach your kids about life & conflict resolution.
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You should be highly considering your divorce legacy. I find that one of the greatest challenges that we have as parents is protecting and sheltering our children from unnecessary chaos and drama. And for some families, more than others, I guess, the drama could be severely amplified or severely exaggerated in some way.
So, what do we do? What do we do as parents? What's our strategy? How do we take care of this solution?
My best advice is that you teach your children resilience. You teach them what life is all about. This is your golden opportunity to teach them about the differences in characters, personalities, how to deal with conflict, resolution of conflict or of situations. And this is the time when they're more likely willing to talk to you, right? They want to hear your advice. So, my top four tips are as follows when it comes to kids:
Number one is to understand that the children don't know what we know. They're not adults, so let's not treat them as such. They're children and they shall remain children. That means that there has to be a differentiation between the way you speak to them, and what you expect of them, and what you expect of the other parent.
Second thing is that the children are not your work colleagues. They are not your business associates. Don't ask them to start emailing you details. That's just ridiculous. That's just way past crazy. Okay?
The third thing is that this is your golden opportunity right now to teach your children something new, something different. What legacy do you want to leave behind to your children? What do you want them to know? What do you want them to learn? What do you want them to do? What do you want them to avoid when it comes to conflict? What do you want them to understand better? What lesson do you want them to learn from this particular situation?
All the solutions I just gave you are there with one main theme to help you amplify the positivity to your children. How do you overly exaggerate the positivity, so that you could remove the negative and the draining that comes from the fighting and the bickering between the parents or between the family dynamic?
Remember this. Amplify the positivity. While your children are young, they're sponges; they're going to listen to you. They haven't kicked you out of their heads yet, right? So, they're allowing you into their heart. They're allowing you into their head. Take the opportunity to teach them.
What is the legacy you want to leave behind? What do you want them to remember from that particular situation?
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